They see my DISABILITY
I see my ABILITY
There are some incidents, that happens in your life those incidents, broke you, deform you,
But they mold you into the best version of you and the same thing happened to me.
I was 18 years old when I got married, My father wanted me to get married and all I said was.” If that makes you happy, I’ll say yes.”
And of course it was never a happy marriage.
Just about two years of getting married.
I’m in a car accident somehow my husband, fell asleep and the car fell in a ditch.
He managed to jump out, saved himself
I’m happy for him but I stayed inside the car and I sustained a lot of injuries.
This list is a bit long, don’t get scared.
The wrist was fractured, shoulder bone and collar bone were fractured.
My whole rib cage got fractured and because of the rib cage injury, lugs and liver were badly injured.
I couldn’t breathe, I lost urinal bowel control that’s why I have to wear the bag wherever I go.
3 vertebrae of my backbone were completely crushed and I got paralyzed for the rest of my life.
I finally ended up in a hospital where I stayed for 2 and a half months. I under went multiple surgeries.
One day doctor came to me and he said
“Well I heard that you wanted to be an artist but you ended up being a housewife, I have a bad news for you.
“You won’t be able to paint again, because your wrist and your arm are so deformed you won’t be able to hold a pen again”
Next day doctor came to me and said,
“Your spine injury is so bad, you won’t be able to walk again
Because of your spine injury and the fixation that you have in your back you won’t be able to give birth to a child again
That day I was devastated I asked my mother, “why me?”
And that is where I started to question my existence, that why om I even alive?
And that is where I realize that words have the power to heal the soul
My mother, said to me,
“This too shall pass”
God has a greater plan for your, I don’t know what it is, but surely has and all that distress and grief somehow or other those words were so magical that they keep me going.
One day I asked my brothers, I know I have a deformed hand but I’m tired of looking while walls, in the hospital and wearing these while scrubs.
I’m getting tired of this, I want to add more colors to my life, I want to do something
Bring me some colors, bring me some small canvas
I want to paint
So the very first painting I made was on my death bed.
Where I painted for the very first time, It was not just on piece or just my passion.
It was my therapy and then I was discharged and I went back home.
And I went back home and I realized that I have developed a lot of pressure ulcers on my back and my hip bone, I was unable to sit.
There were a lot of infections in my body, a lot of allergies so doctor wanted me to lie down on the bed straight
For not 6 months, for not 1 year…….
For two years I was bedridden confined in that one room, looking outside the window.
Listening to the birds chirping and thinking maybe there will be a time, Where we’ll be going out, with the family and enjoying the nature.
That was the time when I realized how lucky people are that is the time where I realized, that the day I’m going to sit.
I’m going to share this pain with everyone to make them realize hot blessed there are and they don’t even consider themselves lucky.
That day I decided that I’m going to fight my fears we all have fears, fear to unknown, fearing of losing people, fearing of losing health, money.
We want to excel in the career, we want to become famous, we want to get money, we are scared all the time.
So I wrote down, one by one, all those fears, and I decided that I am going to overcome there fears.
One at a time.
You know what was my biggest fear, Divorce, I was trying to cling unto this person who didn’t want me anymore, but I said no……..
I have to make it work, But the day I decided that this is nothing but my fears. I liberated myself by setting him free.
And I made myself emotionally so strong that the day I got the news that he’s getting married.
I sent him a text – That I’m so happy for you and I wish you all the best and he knows that I pray for him today.
Number two was, I won’t be able to be a mother again and that was quite devastating for me but then I realized.
There are so many children in the world all they want is acceptance.
So there’s no point in crying just go and adopt one and that’s what I did.
People think that they will not be accepted by other people.
Because we, in the world of perfect people are imperfects. SO I decided that instead of starting an NGO for disability awareness, which I know will not help anyone.
I started to appear more in public, I started to paint, I decided that I’m going to join the National TV of Pakistan as an anchor person and I’ve been doing a lot of shows for the last 3 years.
I became the National Goodwill Ambassador for UN women, Pakistan and now I speak for the rights of women, children.
We talk about inclusion, diversity, gender equality
Which is a must
Everyone I go in public I always smile
It’s always a big ‘doodie’ smile on my face and people ask me
“don’t you get tired of smiling all the time?”
What’s the secret, I always say one thing
That I have stopped worrying about the things that I have lost, the people that I’ve lost.
Things and people who are meant to be with me are with me
And sometimes, Somebody’s absence make you better person
Cherish their absence, it’s always, it’s always, it’s always a blessing in disguise.
Live your life fully, accept yourself the way you are be kind to yourself, be kind to yourself
repeat, be kind to yourself and only then you can be kind to others.
Love yourself and spread that love.
Life will be hard, there will be trouble, there will be trails but that will only make you stronger.
So when you accept yourself the way you are the world recognizes you.
It all starts from within.