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Simon sinek 5 life-changing rules of success

You can go after whatever you want.

You just cannot deny anyone else to go after whatever they want.

You can go after whatever you want.

You just cannot deny anyone else to go after whatever they want.

Let me tell you a story

So a friend of mine and I, we went for a run in central park. There were some free bagels.

So I said to my friend let’s get a bagel. And he looked at me and said that line is too long.

And I said free bagel. And he said I don’t want to wait in line. And I was like free bagel.

And he says no that’s too long.

And that’s when I realized there are two ways to see the world.

Some people see the thing that they want.

And some people see the thing that prevents them from getting the thing that they want.

I could only see the bagels.

He could only see the line.

And so, I walked up to the line.

I leaned in between two people.

Put my hand in the box

And pulled out two bagels. And no one got mad at me.

Now I had to sacrifice choice,

I didn’t get to choose which bagel I got.

I got whatever I pulled out.

But I didn’t have to wait in the line.

So, the point is that you don’t have to wait in line.

You don’t have to do it the way everyone else has done it.

You can do it with your way you can break the rules,

You just can’t get in the way of somebody else getting what they want.

Sometimes You are the Problem

In the 18th century, there was something that spread across Europe and eventually made it’s way to America purple fever, also know as black death of child bed.

Basically, what was happening is women were giving birth and they would die within 48 hours after giving birth.

This black death of child birth was the ravage of Europe and it got worse and worse and worse over this course of the century.

In some hospitals, it was it’s highest 70 percent, of women who gave birth who would die as a result of giving birth.

But this was the renaissance, this was the time of empirical data and science.

And we had thrown away things like tradition and mysticism.

These were men of science and these were doctors and these doctors and men of science wanted to study and try, find the reason for this black death of child bed.

And so they got to work studying and they would study the corpses of the women who had died.

And in the morning they would conduct autopsies and in the afternoon they would go and deliver babies and finish their rounds.

And it wasn’t until in somewhere in the mid 1800s, the Dr. Oliver Wendell Holmes father of supreme court justice.

Oliver Wendell Holmes realized, that all of these doctors who are conducting autopsies in the morning, weren’t washing their hands before they delivered babies in the afternoon.

And he pointed it out and said guys, you are the problem and they ignored him and called him crazy for 30 years.

Until, finally somebody realized that that if they’d simply wash their hands, it would go away and that exactly what happened.

When they started sterilizing their instruments and washing their hands, the black death of child bed disappeared.

My point is

The lesson here is sometimes you are the problem.

Take care of each other

The united states Navy seals, are perhaps the most elite warriors in the world.

And one of the seals was asked, who makes it through the selection process.

Who is able to become a seal?

And his answer was, I can’t tell you the kind of person that becomes a seal. I can’t tell you the kind of person that makes it through buds.

But I can tell you the kind of people who don’t become the seals.

He says the guy that show up with huge bulging muscles, covered in tattoos who want to prove to the world how tough they are none of them make it through.

He said the preening leaders who like to delegate all their responsibility and never do anything themselves, none of them. Make it through.

He said the star college athletes, who have never really been tested to the core of their being, none of them make it through.

He says some of the guys that make it through are skinny, scorning.

He said some of the guys that make it through you’ll see them shivering out of fear. 

He says however all the guys that make it through when they find themselves physically spent, emotionally spent.

When they have nothing left to give physically or emotionally, somehow someway they are able to find the energy to dig deep down deep inside themselves.

To find the energy to help the guy next to them They become seals, He said.

You want to be an elite warrior it’s not about how tough you are, it’s not about how smart you are, it’s not about how fast you are.

If you want to be an elite warrior you better get really really good at helping the person to the left of you to the right of you.

Because that’s how people advance in the world. 

Learn by practicing , helping each other. 

It will be the single most valuable thing you ever learned in your entire life.

“To accept help when it is offered and to ask for it when you know you can’t do it.”

The amazing thing is when you learn to ask help, you will discover that there are people all around you who always wanted to help you.

They just didn’t think you needed it.

Because you keep pretending that you had everything in under control.

And the minute you say that,

“I don’t know what I am doing?” 

“ I’m stuck, I’m scared, I don’t think I can do this.”

You’ll find that lots of people who love you, will rush in and take care of you.

But that will only happen if you learn to you take care of them first.

Best leaders are the ones who learn to be the last to speak.

Nelson Mandela is a particularly special case study in the leadership world.

Because he is universally regarded as a great leader. He was actually the son of a tribal chief.

And he was asked one day, “ how did you learn to be a great leader?”

And he responded that he would go with his father to tribal meetings.

And he remembered two thing when his father would meet with other elders.

  1. They would always sit in a circle.
  2. His father was always the last to speak.

You’ll be told your whole life that you need learn to listen.

I would say that you need learn to be the last to speak.

I see it in board rooms, everyday, every week.

Even people who consider themselves good leaders who may actually be decent leaders.

Or walk into a room and say, “Here is the problem, here is what I think”

But I am interested in your opinion, let’s go around the room. It’s too late.

The skill to hold your opinions to yourself until everyone has spoken does two things.

  1. It’s give everybody else the feeling that they have been heard.

It gives the everyone else the ability to feel that they have contributed.

  1. You get the benefit of hearing what everbody else has to think, before you render your opinion.

The skill is really to keep your opinions to yourself. If you agree with somebody, don’t nod yes.

If you disagree with somebody don’t nod no simply sit there and take it all in and the only thing you’re allowed to do is ask questions.

So that you can understand what they mean and why they have the opinion that they have. You must understand from where they are speaking.

Why they have the opinion that they have not just what they are saying. And at the end you will get your turn.

It sounds easy, it’s not.

Practice being the last to speak.

That’s what nelson Mandela did.

Remember who you are.

Remember who you are

There was a former under secretary of defense. Who is invited to give a speech at a large conference about a 1,000 people.

And he was standing on the stage, giving his speech, he’s prepared for remarks and while he taking a sip out of a cup of coffee he had, in his Styrofoam cup.

And he looks down and smiles and interrupts his preparatory marks.

And he say, “ you know last year, I was the secretary, it’s the undersecretary.”

And I spoke at this exact same event in this exact same venue, last year.

Except last year

“While I was still undersecretary they flew me here in business class.”

“They had a car waiting for me to take me from the airport to the hotel.”

“Someone had already checked me in and escorted me upto my room.”

“The next morning I came downstairs, there was someone was waiting for me in the lobby”

And they took me to this same venue.

“They took me in the back entrance, they took me into the green room”,

“And they handed me a cup of coffee in a beautiful ceramic cup.”

He says, I am no longer the undersecretary, I flew here coach.

“I took a taxi from the hotel to airport” I have checked myself in the morning.

I took another taxi to this same venue.”

I walked in the front door, I found my way to the backstage.

And when I asked somebody “Do you have any coffee?”

He pointed me at the coffee machine in the corner, and I poured myself a cup of coffee into this Styrofoam cup.

He says, “The lesson is, the ceramic cup is never meant for me”.

“It was meant for the position I hold”.

I deserve a styrofoam cup.

We all deserve a Styrofoam cups.

As you become more successful, as you do well in life, as you become more successful as you do well in life, you will be afforded many advantages.

People will call you sir and ma’am.

They will carry your luggage and the whole door is open for you. They will bring you a cup of tea without you even asking for it.

But it is not meant for you. It is meant for the position you hold.

And when you move on, they will give all those things to the person who replaces you.

Never ever forget that you only ever deserved is Styrofoam cup.

If your actions inspire others to dream more learn more and become more you are a leader.